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A Call to Arms and Breasts

Are you a Lactivist?

By Stacey Greenberg

When I was in high school, I knew people who stood on the corner across from the mall holding signs that read, "Fur is dead." Friends in college joined local chapters of Amnesty International and attended war protests. I was interested in volunteerism and serving the community, but I never really considered myself an activist. I didn't feel really passionate about any one thing. I was more of a "go with the flow" type of person. I started working at a soup kitchen after buying a fake i.d. from the volunteer coordinator; I joined the Peace Corps after seeing "Dirty Dancing" in the theater five times and learning of Baby's plans; I decided to get a Masters Degree after a friend told me about an interesting program; and then an internship turned into well-paying job helping people. I married a man I met in the Peace Corps, bought a house, got some dogs, and planted a garden. I just did my thing and everything seemed to work out fine for me.

When I became pregnant, everything changed. I wasn't comfortable with status quo regarding pregnancy and birth. The time I spent in Cameroon, West Africa as a Peace Corps volunteer had affected me in ways that I hadn't realized. I had never considered the politics of parenting in our country until a friend started midwifery school and opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed. I suddenly found it difficult to just go with the flow. I found that the ideas I had for myself didn't mesh with the ideas of the people around me, especially my family. I found that every decision I made, starting with my homebirth, was challenged. I found myself in a position of either keeping my decisions to myself or working hard to educate others on why I was choosing to be "different". I chose the latter.

On April 21, 2002, I gave birth to one son and one mother. I saw this as a chance to start over, to live purposefully, and to think about my actions.

When it comes to parenting, I try to shield myself from negative messages and images that pervade most mainstream media. For instance, I do not watch shows like "Maternity Ward" or even the seemingly benign "A Baby Story" on TLC. I quit watching "Friends" after Rachel's ridiculous and completely unrealistic birth episode. I don't read the parenting magazines in the pediatrician's office and I recycle the formula companies' advertising rags parading as "magazines" that appear in my mailbox. I'm not interested in what Dr. This or Dr. That has to say about everything that could go wrong in my pregnancy, my child's first years, etc. I like to talk to real people, read zines (self-published "mini" magazines), and do my own research. I belong to a few "alternative" online parenting communities and I have tried to build a strong support network for myself in my community. This has made a huge impact on my life and given me the confidence to parent in the style that suits my family.

I don't like it when people give me unsolicited advice and I disagree with a lot of commonly accepted/unquestioned practices. In addition to having a homebirth, I did not circumcise my Jewish son, I don't vaccinate, I cosleep, and I plan to breastfeed until my son decides he is ready to wean. I know that these things may make me seem like a hippie (or worse), but I'm probably not that different from you. I doubt you could pick me out of a crowd. If it is a weekend, my avocado stained "Lactivist" tee shirt, pulled up over my breast, with my insanely cute 15-month-old son attached to my nipple might give me away.

What the hell is a lactivist, you ask? A lactivist is a lactation activist: someone who considers him/herself an advocate for breastfeeding, whether or not s/he's nursed. Lactivism comes in many forms: choosing to breastfeed, choosing to breastfeed for an extended period of time, choosing to breastfeed in public, choosing to smile at a breastfeeding woman, encouraging other women to breastfeed, educating the public on the benefits of breastfeeding, lobbying for pro-breastfeeding legislation, etc. Maybe you're already a lactivist, and didn't know it.

The United States has made some major strides in the past couple of decades. Formula companies have been required by law to state on their products and in their ads that "breast milk is best". Laws have been passed requiring employers to provide time and space for women to express milk at work. Breastfeeding is slowly but surely coming back in fashion, even celebrities are doing it. However, breastfeeding rates are still alarmingly low and in general, breastfeeding is viewed as primarily for babies. Close your eyes and think about breastfeeding. What image comes to mind? A smiling woman holding a newborn infant? Well, I have news for you, breastfeeding isn't just for babies. Toddlers and older children do it too.

The American Association of Pediatricians (AAP)recommends exclusive breastfeeding for six months and continuing breastfeeding for at least one year, while The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF advocate breastfeeding for two years and beyond. There is no agreed upon world average age for weaning, but many cultural studies detail a weaning continuum from birth to ten years (do not adjust your glasses). The United States is one of the only countries to wean its children by their first birthday. It is up to each nursing duo to decide when it is time to wean. Some women choose to breastfeed for six months, some for two years, some for four or more, and some not at all. To each her own, I say. However, women in this country need to be given more information and more support.

I doubt there's a person out there who hasn't heard a sensationalized news story about "the horrors" of a woman nursing her three year old child. Extended nursing is often portrayed as a form of child abuse or a sign of the mother's unfulfilled emotional needs. (If it isn't an extended nursing story it's a story about a child sleeping in his/her parents bed, but that's a different rant.) Stories like those make me angry and sad. They discourage others from nursing their children past an "acceptable" age or encourage them to hide their nursing relationship. This serves to reinforce the image of breastfeeding being for tiny newborns only. For those of us choosing to nurse our children for a year or more, we must be proud and we must be seen.

I wish that all the women out there who are nursing their infants, toddlers, and older children could feel safe to join me in public displays of nursing. I want lactating women everywhere to nurse their children wherever and whenever they want and for it to be perceived as completely normal and natural. It can happen and it starts with me and you. Lactivists unite!

Are you a Lactivist? Take our quiz.


Stacey Greenberg is the creator of the zine Fertile Ground: For People who Dig Parenting. She lives in Memphis with her husband and two sons.

9 Responses to "A Call to Arms and Breasts"

1. Brandy Stoner

Apr 25, 2006 15:49

If I had continued to produce milk, I had wanted to breastfeed to at least eighteen months and possibly age 4. Unfortunately, I was unable to and dealt with some depression over the inability to breastfeed my child as long as I had wanted to do so. Taking a child off the breast before a year is strictly an American idea. Only in America are parents encouraged to separate themselves from their children from the start. No wonder there are so many attachment disorders. Okay...putting away the soapbox...

2. Colleen Newman

May 14, 2006 20:41

Great article! I too became a lactivist as I became a mother. I had no idea until that day how powerful breastfeeding can be! In fact, upon the birth of my second baby, breastfeeding inspired me to write a children's book about breastfeeding; Near Mama's Heart. I hope all babies get the chance to be Near Mama's Heart, if only for a day! Happy Mama's day to you! Warmly, Colleen

3. Kelly Reising

Mar 20, 2007 18:16

I think I might be the complete opposite of you! But I support your right to be whatever kind of parent you want to be. Check out my article on "Detachment Parenting." It's at the bottom of my column "Mother Magnetism."
Best,
Kelly Reising

4. Anne

Feb 25, 2008 11:32

While I agree that we should be more supportive of b'feeding for all of the reasons you stated, I can't stand the term "lactivists" and find it outright hostile. Perhaps because I've had nasty experiences with self-proclaiming lactivists. When I was told that I couldn't 100% breastfeed my son by both our pediatrician AND a lactation consultant, I received angry recriminations from these moms. I "wasn't breastfeeding right" or "trying hard enough." It made an already devastating and disappointing situation even worse. I would get the evil eye when I pull out a bottle of formula at the playground, one mom even "tsked." They made me feel like I was poisoning my child instead of nourishing him. I could care less today about these loonies, but during my hormonal postpartum days they caused a lot of crying in the shower. This kind of extreme, close mindedness is the downside of any movement, and it can actually turn supporters away. Just wanted to post a warning to other "lactivists" out there. Don't judge!

5. tiehea

Apr 26, 2008 11:13

Breast is best, but, not always possible. My sister a great parent, tried with all her might to breast feed, but had inverted nipples, etc. And finally had to resort to formula. Her son is a happy wonderful child, but has had a lot of ear infections, colds etc. I was able to breastfeed, until 8 weeks, but was forced to stop because of postpartum OCD. I wish my doctor had tried to put me on meds that would not have affected my milk, but I was in such a state I could not help myself. Much of my depression etc. was relieved from getting much needed sleep, that formula allowed. My son though even from these few wonderful weeks of breastfeeding, never had an ear infection, was never sick as a baby, and remains very healthy. Breast feeding is awesome, do it in public, and don't be shy, but don't feel like you have to hide if you use formula, loving your child is what matters most.

6. Kari Wolfe

Jul 14, 2008 22:29

Lactivist? Good for you.

I get really tired of people saying "breast is best but not always possible..." as though those of us who couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason (medical, choice or otherwise) are not giving the best to their children. Pregnant women aren't really given a "choice" whether to breastfeed or not - it's more of a really string push in that direction with the whole "well, if you don't want to..." and the gift of free formula as you leave the hospital.

Please.. those of you who do advocate nursing your child, for those of us who chose not to (or otherwise), give us a break. We really do feel bad because we don't do it - especially since everyone insists that it's the best thing to do for your child.

I just don't think we should feel bad for what remains an individual decision. It's the pressure put on you from the moment you find out that you're pregnant til the moment you hold your child in your arms (and then some) that does it though.

Thank you for your point of view, but as a "lactivist," you should also realize that it's an individual's choice as to whether or not she chooses to nurse.

As to you doing it in public, I salute you! Absolutely! Don't let anyone tell you not to nurse in public :) But please remain modest about it, if you don't mind :)

7. Jen

Sep 04, 2008 15:10

Breastfeeding is not a choice. Having a child is, however, up to the individual. If women don't want to breastfeed then they should not have children. Breasmilk is the first food of human infants - period.

Yes breastfeeding is very hard. Yes mom's are tied down, exhausted etc. I had two bouts of very bad mastitis while my second child was an infant. I knew that my body could not take nursing a third so I am done. How can I, in good conscience, have anymore children when I can no longer safely provide food for my baby?

If women don't want the hassle of feeding their babies they can simply choose not to have any.

8. Joey

Dec 02, 2008 08:15

I became a single mother at the age of 19, and worked full-time and overtime at a poultry processing plant as a butcher to support my son. I breastfed because it was cheap (and admittedly, because I knew it was good for my son). I breastfed him for a year. But I can't say that I ever spent any measure of time thinking of the political aspects of it. It's BREASTFEEDING.

I've worked in two manufacturing facilities over the past fourteen years; in one as a production employee, and now as a human resource manager. My old employer always allowed me (and any other employee) time to express their breastmilk. Now that I'm the one in charge, I allow it as well. I've also discussed this with other HR professionals in the manufacturing sector, and I have yet to find one that doesn't allow this practice.

Pro-breastfeeding legislation? Come on. I can't think of one instance where an employer didn't allow their engorged employee to express their milk.

Find another worthwhile cause.

9. leighk

Apr 28, 2009 18:51

I nursed my children 11 months each, and feel fairly strongly about breastfeeding, but I don't think one should push it so openly and make everyone else uncomfortable in public. Some people just don;t like to see nursing babies, and that is fine. Cover up. Some lactivists go too far. It is never good to push a public agenda.
I agree than moms get terrible information about nursing, such as the old myth about not producing enough milk. Most moms who dropped nursing use that excuse way too much. If you ask them if they were evaluated by a doctor, they will always inevitable get a lot quieter and mumble about not getting around to seeing a physician for help, because you can in fact get medical help for low milk production, which is very rare. Very rare.
Another myth is the baby failing to nurse. Failing to nurse ? Give me a break ! Nature is way smarter than that. If all the stories I have heard about failure to latch were true, then we would not have survived as a race on this planet.
Throw on the shawl when nursing in public, but please, please dispel these excuse rumors flying around about problems in nursing.

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