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Home -> Parenting -> Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding

Imperfections

Further defining the "right to choose".

By Jessica Carlson

More and more it seems that there is a movement towards changing public policy to force women to breastfeed. A recent Massachusetts proposal to ban formula samples to laboring or new mothers within the state's hospitals brings up an interesting societal paradox. Many state that formula samples inhibit a mother's ability to succeed in breastfeeding, however breastfeeding advocates may need some perspective and objectivity in their pursuit to demonize this acceptable choice. It is nobody's business how a parent chooses to feed their children, so long as they are using an acceptable alternative, and nobody's business as to whether or not they choose to use their body to nourish another. I can appreciate the attempt and motivation to "stick it to the man" and big business, but in fact, it is creating an undesired effect. Women already have a right to make their feeding choice for themselves, regardless of marketing ploys set forth by money-grubbing corporations. Limiting women's choices is not empowerment, it's a setback -- a regression.

A logical compromise would allow new mothers to choose whether they want the samples or not. America is the freest nation on Earth and I see this proposed policy change as no different than the NSA wiretaps in how it restricts or violates one's right to privacy and freedom. Perhaps even more grave is government mandating policy to influence the ability to make an acceptable choice only because it is not ideal. Most people's lives are not ideal. Many people cannot afford an ideal house, with an ideal school, an idyllic family with ideal support, ideal cars, ideal toys, an ideal college fund, etc. Although many might argue that this is a public health issue, I counter that it is not. Social and economic burdens affect a child's health more significantly, as well as one's own genetics. It has yet to be proven that infant formula is a primary factor in influencing disease when prepared properly and within the safe conditions available in the United States.

Let me be perfectly clear as to where I stand on the issue of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding lest I be accused of perpetuating a personal agenda. I believe breastfeeding is preferable to infant formula. I have breastfed both of my children for short periods of time and went on to formula feed (for the majority of their infancies) with great success. I have no guilt or regrets and harbor no more resentment towards breastfeeding mothers for their choice any more than I do my own. I take issue with the radical imposition and zealotry of some breastfeeding advocates -- the ones that use their ability to lactate as a way to yield judgment, superiority, fear, condemnation, and yes, misinformation. I do believe those mothers are in the minority however, and not the majority. I think most moms breastfeed because they enjoy it and/or because they feel it's an excellent source of nutrition when that option is realistic and attainable. I don't believe that a majority of breastfeeding mothers seek to discredit formula feeding moms and their choices, but then again those aren't the moms that we typically hear about in the media or on internet forums, either, and they aren't the ones seeking to create barriers in a mother's right to decide how to feed their baby. The loudest voices always seem to hold the most radical opinions. Common sense arguments just aren't as compelling.




 
Those that promote their agenda and banning formula samples to new mothers often find themselves wrought in irony as they join forces with their rivals. The zealotry of lactation is a value held by the lunatic fringe on both sides of the political spectrum. The neo-conservatives preach it as a moral obligation on the grounds that Jesus was breastfed. It's the way God intended women to feed their babies. The neo-liberals use it to promote their anti-business, anti-medical profession agenda and empower themselves as women and mothers. It's anti-establishment, counter culture on both sides.

I have heard every argument made by breastfeeding mothers seeking to clearly divide moms into two very separate groups -- the "good mothers" who breastfeed and the "ignorant", "selfish" or "unenlightened" mothers who don't. This message, like so many others, has found an easy way to disseminate through the popularity of parenting forums across the internet.

I have heard just about every position out there, and while I concede that some of these pro-breastfeeding arguments are fairly persuasive and truthful, it's far from being a black and white issue. Over the years, I've read countless points of view as to the reasons why you should loathe formula, and the problem with many of these opinions has been their lack of perspective. Women who formula feed by way of choice or by way of uncontrollable variables find themselves on the defense.

The breastfeeding debate has escalated from advocacy of well-meaning intentions to being over-sensationalized and over-dramatized in its ability to attract those with little knowledge or ability to ascertain the correct information. It's hard to comprehend, when you are bombarded with cherry picked excerpts of reports from organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Heath Organization that imply that formula use should not only discouraged, but that a barrage of barricades be set forth to prevent formula use. Measures to make the choice one of "informed consent" by way of using scare tactics and stigmatization of formula should be feared. Ask yourself if you want to live in a place where your personal parenting choices are mandated by the government and people who you may disagree with?

If it was solely about health, one might wonder how and when breastfeeding became an issue of morality instead -- taking away formula feeding as a viable alternative in favor of guilting a mother into thinking that their choice is harmful when most mothers simply want what's best for their baby and family. What "good mother" doesn't want the best possible outcome for their baby? The problem is that breastfeeding requires varying degrees of sacrifice for each individual mother, which may or may not be possible. While one mother may find solutions to breastfeeding problems or breastfeeding initiation, another may feel the solutions are too great of a sacrifice for her personal situation and thus, affects her ability to be the mother she wants to be.

But what those mothers need to remember is that they are making a choice for what is best for their family as a whole. And what advocates need to remember, is that the "right to choose" doesn't only refer to abortion, and if we are going to start creating policies which influence or restrict a mother's right to make acceptable feeding choices, then what's to prevent the government from meddling into your life and creating obstacles to any of your rightful parenting decisions?



Jessica Carlson is the co-creator of The Imperfect Parent and a mother of two, though not necessarily in that order. Jessica is also a contributor to the anthology "The Imperfect Mom", published by Broadway Books.

8 Responses to "Imperfections"

1. leigh

Aug 28, 2006 11:56

I read this commentary with interest, and enjoyed it because you addressed some real idiocies within the system. I received (by accident) the hospital's obligatory gift of Enfamil. I say "by accident" because mothers committed to breasfeeding are not supposed to get the little yellow and blue bags. But we took it home with us, convinced we would never need it, since, as I was told by many, "babies don't get hungry for a few days." That night our newborn screamed for almost 6 hours. She tore my nipples to shreds, and finally, at 5 am, I looked at her father and said, "Get it." He didn't have to ask what "it" was, and I didn't know he could move so fast. She guzzled 4 ounces and slept for 4 hours. My milk took almost a week to come in. We used the gift of Enfamil, although I was scared it would ruin her for the real thing. My midwife told me not to worry, that people committed to breastfeeding will be successful. A week's worth of formula wasn't going to ruin anything. And it didn't. I only stopped nursing 3 months shy of her thrid birthday. Frankly, I am still grateful for those little bottles, and she keeps crayons in the gift bag. I wish people wouldn't get so worked up about what, in the long run, is just none of their business.

2. Rebecca

Nov 18, 2006 01:50

I don't understand how taking away a FREE bag of formula will keep a woman from going to the store to BUY a can of formula... the choice isn't taken away, it's just the "freebie" (which drives the cost of formula up anyway.)

I get worked up over the formula bags because I did use the formula in the bags, and almost gave up on nursing because it was just so easy to use the formula in the bag rather than work to get my latch correct. My daughter had 2 bottles of formula while we were home, and guess what, she's lactose intolerant now at 21 months! Tell me that the formula didn't have something to do with it! (Lactose intolerance doesn't run in our families.)

3. Jessica

Nov 18, 2006 08:48

Rebecca, guess what? Breastmilk has lactose in it! If your baby was truly lactose intolerant, which is a genetic disease, she would not be able to breastfeed either. (So suffice it to say, no I don't think it was formula and doubt that your baby is truly lactose intolerant.)

4. Meg

Nov 20, 2006 22:51

Hi there, now I have to say Jessica, that I don't always agree with some of your views(Meg from the pit bull article) but this one was wonderfull. I thought you adressed all the right points. When you said "While one mother may find solutions to breastfeeding problems or breastfeeding initiation, another may feel the solutions are too great of a sacrifice for her personal situation and thus, affects her ability to be the mother she wants to be." ....that is me. I have had four kids, and although I breastfed for about two weeks each for the colostrum, I switched to the bottle after that. Two weeks was hard enough. I did not have the time to spend over an hour every four hours breast feeding. I had diapers to change, kids to chase and a house to keep clean. Although I think it's great if breastfeeding is your choice, the method you choose to feed your child is nobody's business but your own. As long as the baby is getting the necessary nutrients, does it really matter if it is from a bottle or a boob? If it's an issue of bonding to some of the mom's out there, I know that I talked, and sang, and cuddled my babies while I feed them their bottles. Thank you Jessica, for this article, I was starting to think I was the only one who noticed that slowly, but surely, people are trying to take this choice away from us too, not by law, but social stigma and enforced guilt.

5. shanika chapman

Apr 27, 2007 06:41

It's so easy to get carried away with your judgments, until you come across an article like this. Though I am pro-extended breastfeeding, I know firsthand the benefits of formula. I had difficulty with latch for a month and had no choice but to give my daughter formula. Ironically, it was formula that facilitated my ability to breastfeed. Even now, we keep a small canister for those times when I just don't feel like pumping. I will admit though, I feel the stigma, imagined or otherwise, at the checkout counter each time I buy another one. Had we not been given that enfamil at the hospital, it would have been an even rougher time for my daughter.

6. AnaBanana

Feb 12, 2008 03:15

I'm sorry, but not distributing *free samples* doesn't remotely impede anyone's choice to artificially feed their babies. The unfortunate fact is that societal pressures and lack of adequate information cause too many women to give up and think they just "can't" nurse, or that it's "too hard," when in fact it's really just *too easy* to not bother doing it. How could not getting free stuff interfere with your right to feed your baby formula? It can't. This is indeed a free country. No one is stopping you from using chemical formulas. But it's about time we stopped kicking nursing mothers out of stores and placing every kind of social pressure on them to STOP nursing and start using the bottle. If the tide has turned since the days when I received nothing but scorn from most people for nursing, so much the better. Babies deserve the best, not the fourth best. (According to the AAP rankings, formula is fourth best as a means of feeding babies ;) )

7. Claudine Wolk

Feb 25, 2009 15:51

Amen, Sister. You are absolutely right. I often compare the "right to choose" with breastfeeding as well. Women are supposed to be free, yet, when it comes to breastfeeding, I woman's individual choice does not matter, even to other women. C'mon, girls, we have enough problems - let's stick together. If we don't stick together we're going to end up with the right to vote pulled out from underneath us.

8. alayna

Dec 14, 2009 21:10

You are going to compare this with wiretaping? Seriously? It's not limiting your choice by not offering it for free.

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"Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault." -- Dr. David M. Burns