An open letter to the J.M. Smucker Company, maker of Uncrustables

April 1, 2005

Executive Offices
The J.M. Smucker Company
Strawberry Lane
Orrville, OH 44667-0280

RE: Uncrustables

Dear Sir/Madam:

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I want to commend you on your genius of creating the UNCRUSTABLES “crustless” peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (the grape is the best!) You have removed a major irritant around the house, what with the kids insistence that their crusts be cut off of their sandwich. I tell them to just tear them off, but of course they have to be “just so”.

As a busy single Dad, time savers like this are a godsend. When I have the kids for my weekend, I want every minute possible for the fun stuff (movies, camping, dirt bikes, t.v., etc.)!

I’m writing in the hopes that you continue with this line of thinking, and I wanted to share a few ideas. I thought perhaps maybe a skinless orange? I’m always having to “start” them for the kids, and it’s always on a day I’ve trimmed my nails, ha, ha! You could even vacuum seal them so they don’t get dried out – maybe not even need the refrigerator?

How about cereal with the milk already in? Like maybe astronauts would eat? Quick, fun, and educational! I’ve got more, so contact me if you would like to “brain storm”. I’m not looking to make a fortune, just the extra precious moments with my children is enough! And maybe a lifetime supply of skinless oranges (hint hint). I look forward to hearing back from you and getting your opinion.

Sincerely,

Kenneth King
Dad on the go!

P.S. I love your address!

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  • Tyler Armstrong

    Haha I really hope this was sarcastic!